13 May 2012

What's this 'Identity' thing you talk about?

I dip in and out of watching recovery videos, and when I do, they're usually from the girls on We Are FreEDom Fighters watched a really powerful one recently which provoked positive thoughts. 

It was a powerful message about identity and something that I hadn’t really got my head around before. And it sparked this reaction in me....

..I’ve let go of some parts of AN but now I need to LET GO of even more of what I AM NOT and embrace the possibilities of what I CAN be, even if I am unsure of that that is at the moment.”

I just wish it was easier to do in reality, because it seems to make sense on paper, when I watch and comment, in this moment, but not generally in life.

But I do find that sometimes that I find hearing other people talk about their recovery and finding THEIR IDENTITY sparks awareness for me and the times that I comment as soon as I’ve watched something inspirational ends up making sense.

Jenn’s video tonight sort of reminded me that it is ok to be confused and not know what makes me, me but... If I keep hold of any part of Ana, I’ll never be able to know who SARAH really is, what I really like and what I REALLY want.

The problem here is, that it all sounds lovely and fine until I just go back to the BUTS.... “BUT ITS NOT FAIR” that I don’t have body, I want it’s not fair that I am not naturally thin and I wish that my identity was different, that my identity didn't like junk foods and I wish my identity was better.  SIGH. ....Hello there Ana, right?

I suppose it’s work in progress. Bear with me here.

Maybe you should watch Jenn's video and see if it sparks you to think about your identity too? 

I also think you should check out Arielle's videos on IDENTITY too - her words always inspire me. 


  1. I'm glad you're thinking beyond where you have thought before. Just like the title and subtitle of your blog promises, there are so many dreams and so many possibilities. :-)

  2. reality is so much harder than what it sounds like when other people talk about it or when you go about it in your mind. yet, whenever you listen to messages like that, you are fighting the eating disorder. you might not realise it straight away but every time you listen to other people tell their stories about how they found their identity, you will come to believe it more. not only for others but for yourself. it's a work in progress and it can't be done overnight. however, if you keep looking for that positive input, the ed will loose more and more of its power and make room for who you truly are. :) love, tess xx

  3. "the times that I comment as soon as I’ve watched something inspirational ends up making sense." Exactly. This this and more this. Remind yourself of that when you doubt yourself of that when you begin to doubt who you really are, and when you fall into the "its unfair" trap. Just like FF has helped you, it has helped me tremendously - before and during hosting time. And being a part of it has even further strengthened the message that I AM GREAT AS I AM. I was going to say "okay" but not okay - great. And to embrace my differences - I am often aware of my body's shape, for example, and there was a time when I despised it. But now I am learning to embrace it. The same goes for all sorts of features, expressions, etc....my despising these things spoke to something much deeper, and now, as I learn to embrace them and wholly become them, I learn to love myself and who I am and who I was always meant to be. What did I love / not give a crap about / use in a healthy way (in terms of my body / voice / face etc) when I was a kid? Seriously....what can I get back from that and now build upon, now that I am wiser and have developed more insight over the years. Just some questions to ask yourself, love. Take good care and please know that the inspiration goes both ways!!!