Anorexia isn’t just ill or recovered. It is a scale. A trapping spectrum.
Whether you are living with, managing and maintaining anorexia at a BMI* of 14 to keep
you out of inpatient treatment, at 18 or at 20 with more subtle behaviours, you
remain on that anorexic scale.
To achieve FULL RECOVERY you need to be OFF that
varying scale all together. This is fact.
Therefore, I am not safe, free, recovered at all. I am on the scale and I want to get off it.
It's only ever anorexia telling me I am not ‘as
anorexic’ as the person keeping their BMI lower than me. I'm not at risk.
It's only anorexia convincing me I'm not on the anorexic scale, because I have
reduced my risks by restoring some weight and not displaying explicitly anorexic
behaviours – by eating and not wanting to lose weight, but not wanting to gain either. But the cold hard truth is, I am still on that fucked up, ambivalent anorexic scale.
*All BMI numbers are random and not used as medically specific examples.
I agree wholeheartedly
ReplyDeleteAnorexia is not a weight or a number
It's a state of mind
I am still on the scale too but fighting every step of the way x
I thought I was was no longer considered anorexic as my BMI is now in the healthy range. So it was quite a sock in my last therapy session when my psychologist said I still tick enough boxes to be considered anorexic, e.g. Distorted body image, odd food rituals, refusal to now maintain healthy BMI. I thought now I've got an healthy BMI I'd fall into the EDNOS category. Apparently not. Stay strong x
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